Preface
Once upon a time in the magical Kingdom of Cyberspace a young boy got lost in the Jungle of Code. This terrifying jungle stretches off to infinity in every direction, and the lush valleys and homesteads of the Kingdom are choked under the thick jungle floor. All sorts of wild creatures live in the Jungle of Code. The Javascript Monster and the great Mysql Beast patrol the jungle, instantly sending anyone to sleep who dares attempt to tame them. Hundreds have tried, and hundreds have failed. The Kingdom of Cyberspace is built on the product of these failings; badly designed and chock-a-block with awful code, it is a wonder the Kingdom manages to support the global information network that humans have stored there.
The people of the Kingdom cried out for a saviour. They needed someone to tame the Javascript Monster, and house-train the Mysql Beast. That someone would need to be the architect of a Cyberspace revolution. He would oversee the creation of a new Kingdom, a Kingdom founded on the principles of Valid (X)HTML, W3C Standards Compliant code, and above all, beauty. The people of Cyberspace needed an architect – nay – a poet. When that little boy came out of the jungle, he’d killed the Javascript Monster and drunk it’s blood. The Mysql Beast was his submissive bitch, and the tentacles of the jungle receded behind and infront of him. The people cried, "It’s Ali Blackwell, Web Master, Poet, Architect, Priest! Please, oh Web Poet, design me a website!" Ali fixed his strong, delicate, tender, firm, loving, steely, ever-so-manly, beautiful blue-eyed gaze on the screaming crowd: "Yes, I will design you a website!" The people erupted in a collective orgasm… "Visit the design page for more information."
Various Options
If you want me to design you a beautiful website, flick through to the Web Design Page and see whether we’re right for each other. Otherwise this website is my homepage, the brain of my sprawling, faceless avatar. You can read about my theatrical exploits, read articles I’ve written on a variety of subjects, or keep up to date with the various projects I’m currently working on. Mainly though it’s about web design... so please Contact Me to talk about your website.
About this Site
This site employs the position: fixed; CSS attribute to achieve the illusion that you are reading a book. Unfortunately, this attribute is not supported in IE6, so if you’re unlucky enough to be using that ghastly browser, you’ll be viewing the elegant alternative design:
Fortunately though, times have changed, and the majority of you will be using a decent browser. If you own a massive screen you’ll be able to see the contents of my desk. If, like me, you’re using a 1256 x 758 pixel monitor, you’ll only be able to see this book. So, just in case you’re interested, here is a thumbnail of the fullscreen website:
Continuing the literary theme, one could call this post-modern meta web design; a website within a website within a book. I prefer the less stuffy description: an orgiastic webgasm. Ooof.